Hello. I love you. Won't you tell me your name?

I’m too old for this shit. JUST SAW HANGOVER TRES BUSAGJUGRXSDHJJH IM DELIRIOUS

At the ballet with the BarTan ladies! (at War Memorial Opera House)

Babies wailing behind me, paramedics on the plane, running to catch the connection… I just wanna be home! #cansomeoneinventteleportationalready

Holy cow! 🐮 This 16 oz. ribeye kicked my ass! I guess everything in Texas is bigger. (at Taste of Texas)

Just sampling Emily’s ice cream selection🍦🍨 hehe #fatties #bluebell

I miss you you ladies!!! 🍷🍹😘 (at B Street & Vine)

💐🌸🌷 happy hippy spring!

What a gorgeous day to be in the city :] 🌇 Nearly 80 degrees? Crazy! (at San Francisco City Hall)

When in Roam… 🍔🍟🍴 eat a delightful truffle fries burger as a reward for sitting through a 3-hour dental exam! Love you @tiffxxtiff! (at Roam Artisan Burgers)

MY FIRST CAR WASH. It was exciting. I got carsick. 🚗🚿😜 (at Chevron)

A brisket so delightful that even my Jewish ancestors would be jealous.

Baking cookies for Joe’s coworkers and watching Millionaire Matchmaker? Buahahahaha housewifey status 🍪 💏 👠

Joe’s work asked when I’m bringing in cookies again. Tomorrow!

Guess who has the coolest lunch today! Rawr! (at Target)